It also gives you a sense of control and confidence when you are working with your husband or partner on recovery. posts, and comments anonymously, in any medium. The sooner it's identified, the better. This can help you deal with issues and challenges more easily and effectively. So say he is out for a work meeting until 6, and he had 2 glasses of wine. Good grief you have issues. I was in labour for almost 24 hours with my first, and my hubbys mom brought him in a HUGE meal because she was worried hed be hungry while I enjoyed a meal of ice chips. Amy Dickinson. And never forgot it. How long has it been since you had a drink? She told you how big he was going to be. He said that it was probably nothing and I should try to get some sleep. Unless yo ass is imoan. I know the tone has gotten pretty intense, but it shouldn't interfere with the central message: the behavior you're describing in your husband is binge drinking, and the more often he does it, the worse off your family will be. The following morning,he woke up very early and went to work! , Thats awesome. With our third i forgot something to wear home and baby outfits so he had to go shopping for me and lets just say men DO NOT know how to shop for women or babies!!! I was so exhausted. All I could do at that point was laugh. Pleaseselect whether I bother you once a day or once a week. I couldnt reach my call light, or my chapstick to throw at him, and he wasnt responding to me whisper shouting at him. I called and called and called him just to get that annoying beep saying he was already on the phone (with his brother) he would not answer my call. You need to have a serious talk with your DH. This. Then 14 hours and a baby boy later, he called to let everyone at the office (a family business) know the good news. 1 Answer. But when he does, he is belligerant and can't stop and just a few. Someone who drinks 5 drinks a night to "unwind" after work and is defending that decision in the face of being incapacitated for their pregnant wife has a drinking problem. Rachell, I was in labor all night and ready to go in the morning. He said he needed to shower and run a couple of errands and get some lunch. His father had to leave the room because he felt like he was going to throw up.saying It looks like hamburger meat. I guess I had it pretty good! Holy fuuk. For instance, Mike made me wait in the lobby of our building while he went to get a . It was 4am when I decided to wake up my husband (this was 2 hours after dealing with the labor on my own) and I told him its getting so much stronger now. If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married. Dont come to me saying look what your child did. It is always our child. Jack Morley, the giant baby, was born just after 8am. There was a silence on the phone for a moment, and then in a quiet voice Grandma told Dad she was going to hang up and call back in 10 minutes, and at that time she expected a full report. Exercise can be anything that gets the heart rate up, such as a long walk. Apparently i was keeeping him awake. -Tifffany, My husband took so many pictures of himself in the scrubs and mask (obviously super important to document) the camera battery was almost dead when we actually had the baby! Whats worse is that his parents brought him back to the hospital drunk as a skunk. Its a disorder or an addiction that needs treatment than just taking the blame. -Amy, At 3am, I decided it was time to go and my husband said he was getting up to get ready. We made it to the hospital in alittle under 3 hours and were holding our baby boy with in 15 mins of his birth. What on earth makes you think anyone wants your man? this was his fourth child. The nurse ran out of room because she couldnt handle it. After our daughter was born he -Carrie, My husband rested the magazine he was reading on my legs while I lay dying WITHOUT an epidural. I went into Labor at 1AM after Superbowl Sunday - DH drank a good part of the day and night and had gone to bed around 11 that. and my water broke at 2am so I tried calling him to tell him to come back. She thought it might go away. My husband fell in a deep sleep and would not wake up to me calling him. Now for Baby #2I have pictures of Dad sitting in my hospital bed holding our daughter, chatting on a phone headset. He thinks he's being 110% supportive, and says he will, but just drinking when I could go into labor any day is NOT supporting IMO. Eileen, My husband went duck hunting and forgot to charge his cell phone. I was only at the hospital for two hours before she arrived. My hero. Be an advocate. My husband was asleep in the chair and when they woke him up, he walked over to me and said, My foot hurts. REALLY? Alcoholics don't just drink hard liquorWTF? She gets anxiety from any surgery, so her anxiety was high. Finally he gets into town, horses and all in the hospital parking lot, smelling like a branding! What would make a soon-to-be-dad not realize the birth of his child is a momentous occasion? These are all way worse than mine, but my husband insisted that my then 19 hours of labor was not *real* labor because my contractions were not evenly spaced apart like the book says and did not think it was necessary for me to go to the hospital when I could no longer stand the pain. I think if he is unwilling to decrease the drinking NOW he is going to be unwilling to read anything you give him. So, instead of trying to take control of everything, just wait for them to accept that they have a problem and need help. The following morning my husband went home to get his sugar meter (he is diabetic) that he forgot. Second, I would have an honest conversation about the role you want him to play in labor and delivery. The love and support of your family can help you cope during this difficult time and give you the encouragement you need to get back on track. Published: May. I said we didnt have that kind of time that Id gone from 5cm-8cm in 35 minutes. Ive got girlfriends who pretty much just lay it all on the table. Your scenario of DH's drinking hits so close to home for me. Preterm labor can be risky for you and your baby. Of course, I couldnt, so about 9 am, I started timing my contractions and they were getting to be about 5 mins apart. With my second I was in labor through the night, his dad kept asking if he could go home to sleep because I didnt need him there, he missed his bed and the hospital staff was disrupting his sleep. All they could do was pace the floor in the waiting room. It helps release oxytocin, which is the hormone that causes your uterus to contract. The worst part was later when he said, You know, you seemed kind of mad that I got sick. Yeah, sorry I couldnt be sympathetic. I want to know how old the OP and her H are as well as the ages of some of the responders who are so sure their H's will slow down the boozehound behavior closer to their edds. Bern is a Gen X, child of the 80s. OP is due very soon with her 4th child - her second with her husband - and he's rarely at home. "With . So not only did my husband eat an Indian take-away while I was in the throws of labour, he told me my hair looked a mess. For this pregnant mother, her escape was playing bingo. He went inside to chat with the guy who worked there while buying cigarettes and chips before finally coming out to pump the gas. Its just like this all the things men do wrong only it was just one man, My man, so dont nobody try to take him! However, this might not be a good decision, ever. Yep, I was 8.5 cm when we checked in to the hospital). ).Seems this would not be good even after the baby is born. Dear Amy: I am 63 and my husband (of six years) is 67. And the idea that being in labor will sober up a buzzed husband is absurd, it may make him seem sober but I'd bet dollars to doughnuts that he'd blow over the limit (or really close to it) on a breathalyzer test--that's a great way to get to L&D, in a police cruiser while your husband goes to the drunk tank. It was like something from a movie. It's your body's way of protecting your baby . Its a serious problem that can lead to social and physical problems. Stand with them and help them overcome it. Sept. 28, 2016. Maintaining a positive mindset and a hopeful attitude can be difficult at times when you are dealing with an addiction problem. I hope you haven't given up on this post. I was in labor half the night and at around 7 am I say to my hubby its time to go to the hospital. All I can think of is - How in the world did you get pregnant? Why would you say that to me in THE THROES OF LABOR? Pack your own hospital bag. Were going to pop some bottles the celebrate the twins arrival. If you are married to an alcoholic, here are seven ways to deal with the problem. By. In addition, you should also come up with a list of goals that you want to achieve as a couple once you are done with treatment so that you can lead a more productive and happy life together. However, you can convince them to set certain limits to how much they should be drinking. To help you more to understand, Is my husband an alcoholic?, listed below are also some pointers on how to live with an alcoholic husband. In labor with our second after my water broke at 6am. "Had 'bloody show' for two weeks prior to my water breaking and even lost my mucus plug and NADA! Driving drunk is a big effing deal. I'm worried, because I NEED a good labor coach to achieve my goal of a natural birth, but if the whole process begins with me being incredibly pissed at a buzzed DH, I will fail. Unbeknownst to her, it was contractions. This can lead to further problems such as depression, anxiety, and social withdrawal. He then moved to the toilet to puke some more before I yelled at him that hed better get the hell out of there because I needed it NOW. Out of all the natural ways to induce labor at home, nipple stimulation is one of the most reliable options. They would know that their behavior will only add trouble than solve any problem. When your partner needs help, they will reach out to you. With my 1st son, my husband wanted to take a shower before we left for the hospital. So, feeling AOK, we walked up the hill to the party, socialised and I left Phil to continue cooking sausages and shooting the shit and took the other two kids home around midnight. This was 1959, and husbands werent allowed in labor and delivery anyway. TAKE A SHOWER NOW!!! I shoot him a look and he says oh, I thought you would drive. I was 7cm dilated when they checked me in. (Dont even ask about our planning ability! My DH does not drink every night but he is a binge drinker when he/we drink. Exercise. men are so egomaniacal in general. Children should be seen, and heard, and believed. Labor started picking up, but the contractions never developed a regular pattern. While have contractions at home with my 1st child ( it was around 6pm and my contractions were coming every 5min) my husband called up to me from down stairs (I was on all 4s at this point) asking if I was hungry and he was going to order an Indian take-away.
